Gospel Revolution Reflection: Mirror of Our Soul
Gospel Revolution felt different this year with the online format due to the current pandemic, and yet, even with the distance, it felt familiar. Just like in past years, Gospel Revolution was a blessed time of reflection and Holy Spirit-led inspiration with awesome praise led by UNDG. This year, Gospel Revolution gave me a chance to take a deep look at the mirror of my soul.
At first glance, my soul didn’t look too bad. The first message was about the parable of the lost sheep from Luke 15, a story that I’ve probably heard at least a hundred times by now. And yet, I’ve never really considered the cost of the shepherd leaving behind the 99 sheep to go after the one lost sheep. As Pastor Byung Ham would say, “Who does that?” Only Jesus, who took a side and paid the price to chase after us with GRACE, God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Jesus welcomed sinners and ate with them, and he embraces the very people the rest of religious society rejects. Could I do that? Maybe, after all, I’ve been learning about ways to help the marginalized through my public health school work. But could I pay the price like Jesus did? I honestly don’t think I can say yes to this question as readily as the first one. It would mean sacrificing my time and comfort and risking rejection. How can I say I would be willing to do that when I’m lazy about even small things like school assignments and when I’m a people pleaser? I’m just as lost as anyone else. After realizing that Jesus views us as that one lost sheep that is immensely worth saving and for whom he paid the ultimate price for on the cross, I was determined on the first night of Gospel Revolution to at least be more diligent about my school work and not squander the opportunity to train for the mission that he has prepared for me, to share the Gospel while serving the marginalized.
It wasn’t until the second night and Sunday morning of Gospel Revolution that I began to really see the ugliness reflected in the mirror of my soul. As Pastor Byung implored us to come clean and accept God’s promise of complete cleansing like David did in Psalm 51, I was strongly convicted of my own sin, of being judgmental and critical of others, especially this past year, and for trying to achieve and do things on my own strength and failing miserably as a result. Like David, I needed to confess, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is before me” (vv. 1-3). Sin is a failure to live according to the image and likeness of God and putting ourselves in a place we don’t belong, in the place of God. Salvation is God putting himself in a place he doesn’t belong, in our place. It is only through the God of mercy cleansing us with Jesus’ hyssop, his blood on the cross, that our ugly, dirty souls can be made clean again, and it is only through the Creator God creating a new heart within us that we can truly repent and turn away from our sins. It is only through God’s mercy that we can turn away from self-supremacy, self-preservation, and self-justification and turn towards being the loving neighbors that God calls us to be. Lastly, it is only through confessing our sin in community that we can turn our past failures into opportunities for future ministry and worship. I hope my reflection and confession can play a small part in Bethel Grace Church’s communal commitment and testimony to the world of God’s radical love and mercy. Only Jesus can disinfect the mirror of our soul from the virus of sin and give it a clean shine that the world can see.
