The Peace We Have with Christ
The last couple of months have given me a lot of time to think. There are so many uncertainties in the times we live in. Our health, jobs, and families … our daily lives have been through a loop and it’s hard to know how our lives will have changed at the end of all of this. In all this uncertainty I found myself grasping at the constants in my life, something I could stand on and feel anchored and not in imminent danger of being overwhelmed by the times.
As a younger man I used to find more value in seeking to be looked upon well. Some of the questions going through my head were, “What will I do with my life?” “Will I be able to find a respectable profession?” “What will my friends and family think of me if I fail?” As you might imagine, many nights while lying in bed, the anxiety got so bad I wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and hide from it all. All the uncertainties in my life at the time felt so unmanageable that it left me paralyzed with fear. I eventually realized I had to seek something else to validate my worth.
More recently, as a married man I found myself seeking to find fulfillment and validation from my wife. As anyone that is married can attest, disappointments and hurts abound when one or both spouses in a marriage expect the other to fulfill all their respective needs. The brokenness and expectations we both brought into our marriage led to issues in our marriage that we continue to try to work through today. I for my part had unfairly burdened my wife with propping up my ego and lack of self-confidence. I only have myself to blame for the disappointments and hurts we both have suffered because of it.
What I realized in both of the above situations was that I had not framed and addressed the issues properly. In both situations, I made myself the most important. I had become my own center and the foundation of my world. But as a Christian who’s called to an ever more sanctified life, I should first have been satisfied and fulfilled by Christ first. I have learned to exchange my broken self with God who is perfect as my center, foundation and constant. It’s only been in the situations that I sought to be satisfied in Him first that I’ve had any measure of peace (Matthew 11:28). The anxiety melts away and I’m free to love my wife as she deserves.
The path of sanctification has never been a straight line for me. I fail God over and over again. But should I remember to keep Him as my Rock and my Foundation, I know I won’t ever be lost or overwhelmed.
