Satisfying Love - Gospel Revolution
The overall theme of this year’s Gospel Revolution stirred that deep place in my heart where the words of God’s love constantly reside. My own faith journey has had its tribulations and its plateaus, but the beckoning to return to his love was prompted once again. The second night’s highlight on communion was impactful and fitting as I had been contemplating and encountering this holy experience of drawing near to God. Pastor Owen illustrated the scene of the table of the first Lord’s Supper with his disciples. He loved them and welcomed them with full acceptance; yet, he knew that right after the meal, they would desert him. Peter was bold enough to declare with certainty that he would never betray him, but he did three times. This was such a clear depiction of how fleeting our devotion is and how lacking I am. The idea that we are welcomed anyway reminded me of that swooping hug that seemed to cover every failure throughout my life with God.
The following emphasis that night was “the table of satisfaction.” As a young adult in the process of building up my career, philosophies, and values of how to live a righteous life, I find myself constantly ruminating about what is means to live one that is satisfactory. As Pastor Owen was challenging us to consider what things bring and maintain a seemingly fulfilling life, I felt the fragility of all that I had trusted in the past and look to in the future. It nearly felt that I was putting too much weight on all the passing things that God gave me to hold-me over on this fallen earth. My head constantly swivels around seeking comfort in a million different places, and I am met with disappointment when nothing sustains. Yet, a different, more fulfilling kind of satisfaction is offered by God. When Pastor Owen presented the simplicity of coming to the table to dine with him, I reigned in the distant idea of true satisfaction with Him being reserved in heaven. The most profound grace and mercy that I face time and time again is that God offers a glimpse of satisfaction here with contentment fueled by living a life in love with him regardless of how broken things are. The texture of satisfaction changes when we place it on the right things, and I found myself filled with gratitude that God presents this gift to us when it is undeserving.
Pastor Owen’s vulnerability to share his story about the discipline God enacted in his ministry was refreshing and emulated humility and growth. I know firsthand the difficulty of sharing such tender moments; to do so requires courage and a whole lot of redemption and processing with God to be able to share the places He refined and pruned. With transparency in his testimony, Pastor Owen reiterated the message that the darkest moments in our lives are not due to his absence but to a stronger presence. I recalled that the gut-wrenching moments of my life were the ones that made me more loving and kinder, and they deepened the capacity of my soul to receive the presence of God. Granted, these hard times involved distress and grief, but the process of meaning-making involves these stages that God invites us into to know him and make us more like him. Pastor Owen said towards the end of his message, “Thank God that He plans for us what we don’t plan for ourselves; our plans are to make ourselves happy, but his are to make us holy.” It takes much to be enthusiastic about the unknowns to come this year, but the context in doing it with a God that loves changes the fear and doubt. The weekend of Gospel Revolution took us through what felt like stages of deepening love, but the thread that held it together from beginning to end was the resounding assurance that every moment is one in which God is present and near. To love him means to welcome all that he has to offer in our lives and be willing to join the process he has for us, because it will always be from the Father’s heart.
